Celebrity Drama: Why Lauren Conrad Pisses me Off

Ok. So I am fully coming out of the closet. I watch "The Hills". Yes. You heard me. I watch "The Hills."

I watched Lauren Conrad saunter through her highschool days in Orange County as the revered blonde princess; that is the ever too common of the "natural" females in the habitat of OC.

I followed her through her constant failed relationships with the men of the OC - who she thought was gorgeous, but the rest of the world thought looked like overgrown hobbits, and creepy looking pedohpiles (even though they were young...yes ironic I know).

YES! I have watched Lauren Conrad with her Chanel purse that ONLY A GRANDMOTHER WOULD USE! It's all true. And I am ashamed. And now here it is. In the public, for all too see.

So here it is; Lauren pisses me off. She is so absolutely useless that it is UNREAL. If she's not telling her friends how to live their lives so they can be as virtuous as her - then people are very painfully trying to extract words to create a semi -sorta like coversation - with her, that will revolve around and about her.

The whole reason why everyone watches this show, is so that we can all confirm the truth: that if you are born into wealth; talent and education do not make a shitting difference. What is truly valued in this world is that your parents have enough money to send you to an Art Institute, because they do not need to worry about your financial stability in the future. What matters is really who you know, and that you have a television show that teens who wish they were rich and had connections like you, watched.

My sister delicately debates with me that "Lauren is a nice girl - she is just retarded." I take offence to that, because I believe that many people with special needs have a lot more to offer than Lauren Conrad.

Lauren is unable to have substantial relationships with boys, because she has nothing substantial to offer. I would say that she is a cute looking girl - but hands down...now that Heide got her rhinoplasty and breast augmentation done - she BLOWS LC out of the water. Especially because she actually keeps her hair in healthy and shining condition versus blow dried and fried. I'd be Heide's friend - because at least she is a stupid douche bag, whereas Lauren is an undercover douche bag.

BTW - are there any people out there dumb enough to be buying her rip off 70's gear at ree-dock-u-lous prices?

The other thing that pisses me off about Lauren Conrad - is her buddy over there - Lo Bosworth, or Worthless or whoever she is. Someone needs to clarify this - WHO IS LO & Why does she look like a treasure troll???? Please! Help me understand: why Heide got a nose job when she was not all that unattractive to begin with - but Lo has to stay looking the way she does??? I am not being superficial - I am just culminating all that I have learned from the depth that is "The Hills". I mean - how does a treasure troll get to be the one making witty, snide, somewhat mean comments - did anyone remind her that if she looked in the mirror it would be very hard to see her whole face as a result of the massive holes in it, that are her nostrils?

And seriously, can we talk about someone whose parents did not love them enough to pay any attention them? If you have been watching the latest episodes of "The Hills", one will notice that Lo feels very threatened by the alcoholic that is Audrina. (I would also like to know what do Audrina's parent's do for a living that has her hooked up, and washed up?) Also as long as Audrina does not open her mouth, she is by far the best looking girl on that show, with the best bod - hence her lead in that movie that is sure to be a blockbuster...

Anywho,as a shamless lemming of the show, I'll at least keep having a reason for LC To piss me off while I wonder how low is Lo, and will she ever get her own bridge to be in charge of? Maybe if she charges enough to cross it she can get her nose down too!